Curious Chloe

Another extract from the book…She smiled…coming out soon!

 

“Chloe! Chloe”, called her father as he was heading to the office. It was the holidays and all Father’s children were made to work in the office. A means of introducing them to the business. Learning the trade was not one of the key interests of a six-year-old. Most occasions, she spent most of the day playing on the streets with the other children.

One of the children Chloe played with was John, a nephew of one of father’s workers. John was a fair skinned, dull, pale faced; like watered down milky coffee, thin young boy. As Chloe played with this young boy, it led Chloe to question “what the difference are between a boy and a girl”. Questions which generated childhood curiosity in Chloe mind.

In exploring her curiosity, playing with other kids on the street raised more ideas into Chloe mind on how to find out about these differences. She started getting interested in exploring and understanding the differences. Sometimes, she secretly followed and watched the boys urinating on the street.

“Why do they have to stand, and I have to bend to urinate?” she thought. To avoid been labelled for her childhood curiosity and sensing the taboo of this subject; she could not and did not discuss this with her mother and siblings especially her two older brothers. She took the law into her hands to find out herself.

Chloe secretly started reaching out to some of the pornography magazines which she found among the stuff belonging to her Father’s workers called “Ikebe super”. Ikebe super was a cartoon magazine that expressed sexual activities between the opposite sexes.

At first it felt awkward, but Chloe soon got use to the feeling and would go to a hiding place to digest the images portrayed within the pages of the book. Unknown to her John was also privately involved in viewing the magazine. Chloe was in her hiding behind the boxes of delivery for Father’s factory, when John walked over.

They accidentally realised they were both involved in digesting the content magazine. They agreed a meeting point where they viewed the cartoons together. Deep down, Chloe knew it was wrong because she did it secretly without the members of her family noticing, however she felt it satisfied her curiosity.

There was the constant need to explore what her senses had craved for from the cartoons. One afternoon out of sheer childhood idleness, Chloe and John and some other children decided to play in the loft of her father business complex. The kids were not normally allowed in the loft, it was a darkness part of the office block used as storage for new deliveries.

Luckily for the children, there was no scheduled delivery for the company that day. The loft had an awful odour from the several chemicals used in Father’s business. Usually there is a red bulb providing light to reduce the intensity of darkness in the room. Unfortunately, that afternoon there was no electricity power.

As before, the children approached the room, Chloe heard Mother reminding one of the staff, to make sure the children were not allowed in the loft. An instruction that was not followed up with actions by any of the staff. John, being the oldest led the children unsuspiciously into the room, whilst Chloe raised the tiny curtains in the dark room for some ray of light.

Initially, the darkness and smell in the room felt crippling, unpleasant, unenjoyable and physically draining. After a while, they forgot about the smell, darkness or the sense of discomfort that surrounded them. They knew they were not meant to be there, but they stayed in the loft anyway. Not knowing John had his motives for selecting the play area that afternoon, he suggested they all play the game of “mummies and daddies” …

 

Apart from struggling with her physical identity from my last blog, Chloe started struggling with her sexual identity.

Have you or anyone around you struggled in the same landscape as Chloe in today’s short story?

Most times, sexuality is one of the most difficult topics discussed within the Christian community. As a mother, I constantly measure the boundaries of the context and content of sexual topics I discuss with my girls.

The truth remains; the earlier we start discussing the topic, the better they become equipped to face the corrupt world they will eventually grow into.

As Christians, we should not wait for the schools or the government to control our children’s sexual education. It’s our God’s given right to do so in a godly way. Shaping their curious hearts in the path of holiness and purity

Remember if we don’t, some else will…possibly in a godless manner.

Take responsibility by God’s grace, kindly let me know what you think?

Kindly like my blog, subscribe and share with others

 

Love,

Hefife xx

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Saving me Softly

A Little distraction from Chloe’s story,  I recently had an encounter with Roberta Flack song “Killing me softly” it changed my landscape.

I thought I should do something about it before I forget. I decided to make some slight changes, like changing “Killing to Saving”. The lyrics is so powerful, could not resist seeing the saviour in the mirror of this song. The video above is a reflection of my mind.

I heard he sang a good song
I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him
To listen for a while
And there he was this young boy
A stranger to my eyes

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Saving me softly with his song
Saving me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Saving me softly with his song

I felt all flushed with fever
Embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he found my letters
And read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish
But he just kept right on

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Saving me softly with his song
Saving me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Saving me softly with his song

He sang as if he knew me
In all my dark despair
And then he looked right through me
As if I wasn’t there
And he just kept on singing
Singing clear and strong

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Saving me softly with his song
Saving me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Saving me softly with his song

And then I reach to him
Telling his song is truth
He wrapped his love around me
Forever safe in his arms
He’ll never let me go
Eternity he promised

[Instrumental Break]

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Saving me softly with his song
Saving me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Saving me softly with his song

This is an initial version I created, hopeful will do a video format soon;

Thank you for your comments and connection to my blog so far. Would like to know what you think about the song and what it means to you.

I feel the songwriters in the previous generations were more intentional in their lyrics than today, what do you think?

Do you think this song relate to Chloe story so far?

Love and looking forward to your comments!

Love

Hifefe!

Chloe’s identity…

A visit to the hospital and series of medical tests, confirmed Chloe’s mother greatest fears, her sight and teeth will be permanently affected because of the infection. Chloe was placed on constant medical check-ups with a schedule as follows – Mondays to the eye clinic and Fridays to the dentist. The visits impacted the way Chloe saw herself. She saw herself as the weak one, deformed for the rest of her life…
…Even though Chloe was a bright kid, most of the time she will refuse to speak in class. Primarily, to prevent others from seeing her teeth and laughing at her. Although she tried to prevent herself being ridiculed it was in vain.  The constant bullying made her feel horrible about herself, more than she already did. The idea of  making friends was the last thing on this little girl’s mind. She gradually developed the act of being by herself, withdrawing to her safe place of her constant question, “who will really love me the way I am?” (apart from her mother, and five siblings.)
Due to her constant refusal to speak in class as expected, her teacher, Mr Umor, usually picked on her in class causing her more distress and unexplainable shame. She was not able to express her feelings to her family; will they question why I must feel this way? She often asked herself. To avoid further discussion about her, the sense of inferiority pulled her into the depth of withdrawal, fading her inner beauty while the physical beauty was irresistible.
Chloe was growing up to be one of the most beautiful, engaging little girl that ever existed. With her ebony colour, oval face, big brown eyes and double dimples it was impossible to gaze at her once. When she smiles she had such a glow in her eyes that heals the weary soul, such an admirable child yet her little heart was weary.
One morning during the usual timetable quiz, Chloe too shy to speak, suddenly forgot to answer the question, because her mind was far away in her wonder land. Her wondering thoughts were interrupted with the sound of the cane she felt on her shoulder. She gave a loud scream and the rest of the class went on uproar, laughing loudly. Moments later, the voice of her teacher kept ringing in the shadow of her mind,
“stupid girl, you will not listen in class, you and your golden teeth, I cannot imagine who will marry such a girl with a golden set of teeth”.
He continued yelling. “Normal children have white teeth, you came to the world with yellow teeth.”
Shame ravished her entire being, she felt the earth should open and swallow her. As her entire body froze, she asked herself,  “could anything be worse than this?”  She felt bullied, helpless and totally unwanted on the surface of the earth. The rest of the day, Chloe cried until her body temperature rose. A call was made for her parents to pick her up as she had become unwell. One of her father’s workers picked her up from school. At home her mother was extremely upset at the state Chloe’s teacher left her precious daughter, without caring for her emotional and mental well-being …

 

Can you imagine the impact of other people’s words on us? Sometimes even though we know we are perfectly made irrespective of her weakness, we allow others to define who we are.

For Chloe, it is a shame, she didn’t know better, those she looks up to seems to have defined her future before she is able to define it herself.

What do you think? Will she be able to see beyond Mr Umor words? what are the words that have been spoken to you that have deeply impacted you?

Remember only the words and promises of the saviour can define you! Psalm 139: 14.

Thank you for the calls and contribution on my last two blogs! Looking forward to your comments!

Love,

Hifefe!

 

 

Prologue 2

…The driver seemed quiet through the momentarily tears rolling down her cheeks while she spoke. He responded softly… “madam make you no cry again, I think I be know wetin de do your pikin… he be like say na measles…if you allow me, I fit prescribe one leaf to you. Just cook am, use am bathe your pikin make you give your pikin some of the water drink”.

“Madam don’t, I think I know what is happening to your child. I think its measles. I will prescribe one leaf to you, cook it give her some to drink and use the rest to bathe her, including the leaves”

Chloe’s mother completely speechless, briefly spoke up saying, where can I get the leaves? The driver drove up the road and parked close to the bush around the hospital, after about five minutes he came back with what looked like a bunch of weeds. Handing it over to Chloe’s mother, he said, “madam your pikin no go die…just do as I say immediately”.

“Madam your child will not die, do as I have told you immediately”

Arriving at the hospital, the journey seemed like a waste of time, no doctor was available, and all the nurse could do was to place Chloe on painkillers. The doctor finally arrived and confirmed the illness was measles at the epic state. The doctor said, “Chloe could have died if she was not brought in when she was”. Initial medication was given to her, with respites on her temperature. They headed back home to try the old man’s herbal prescription.

At home, her mother immediately cooked the herbs and used the leaves to bathe Chloe. Within three days of repeating the same procedure as directed she was back to health as the taxi driver stated. However, the effect of the measles did not end there, it had a lasting effect on Chloe for the rest of her life. Once Chloe started teething, her mother noticed they were golden rather than the usual white teeth and soon after Chloe started complaining of constant eye ache…..

Dear Readers… things happen in life that defines what we become as adults, and especially how we relate to others. Most times we do not define the environmental situations of our birth and childhood, but do we have to define the life we live after these events?

What do you think will happen to Chloe and how will the measles affect her relationship with others?… I am hoping this space will be as interactive as possible to encourage each other as a positive platform!

Love, x

Hefife

Prologue

Hurray she is a year today! Chloe laid on her tiny baby cot feeling horrible with the high fever ravishing her body. Being the fifth child, birthday celebrations was the least to be expected, with the pressure on her mother from a consistently absent father, with a drive to make a success of his profession.

Chloe’s mother carried her with tears dropping down her cheeks, it was an impossible situation. From the flooding of her house by rain in the middle of nowhere, to the absence of neighbours to reach out to her. Her blessed companion was the easing breeze, the evergreen trees, and a stream flowing down beside her home, a constant quiet sound torturing her soul. The only fellowship she had was with her five children filling her world of loneliness.

By sunset, Chloe’s temperature had skyrocketed, and she was getting pale. The spots had covered her tiny body. With no further way out, mother picked up Chloe’s dying body, screaming her head off. Mother ran out of the house leaving the rest of the children in care of Chloe’s fifteen-year-old brother.

Running down the path to the house, she ran screaming taxi, taxi, help, help, someone help, my baby is dying, help! At the end of the path emerged the road, quiet as grave she kept crying. Chloe was beginning to shut her eyes as her tiny little voice fainting with every second passing by.

Moments later, an old car drove by with the driver coming out to help. Seeing the distress in her eyes, he sought to find out how he could help. She recounted how she had noticed few spots on her baby’s body few days earlier and how it had progressed to losing her shortly, if she does not get to the hospital as soon as possible…..